Addicted
by Rosie06
Summary: I just need some people who don't actually know me to read this. I love an addict, and I think this story might be a way to talk to him and make him listen. Please read it and let me know if you think it is at all moving or compelling.


"Please stop," Amya begged. Cold autumn rain stung her cheeks, hiding the tears that her shaking voice betrayed. She had fallen, just a little ways behind him. They were both freezing, but he managed to walk on, swaying a little as his legs began to cater to the slow numbness that seeped out from his joints. "Saka! Please!," she cried, her voice a little more desperate.

He stopped and looked back at her. She had sunken to her knees, her legs splayed behind her and her hands in the muddy ground. She was looking at him, squinting against the freezing water and tears but letting just a little white and green flash out at him. Those eyes…they had looked at him so softly for so long. Now they pierced him, echoing and carrying out the pain she couldn't make him see. His arms were covered in scars, many still dripping warm blood. The cold felt good against his wounds.

"Saka, please! Please stop! You're…," a new round of sobs choked her voice into a whisper. She screwed up her eyes, curled her fingers into fists, and finished in a shout, "You're destroying yourself!" She was facing the muddy, puddled ground now, letting her whole body shake with the sobs that she had fought a moment ago. Saka sipped from a little dark bottle as he watched her. It hurt him too, but he kept his distance. He took another sip, but immediately regretted it. His stomach rebelled, rolling and growling uneasily, the feeling growing and climbing his throat until he had to brace his hands on his knees and vomit in the dirt. Something dark wriggled in the nauseating puddle, but it disappeared in the mud as the rain fell harder. Saka coughed and took in a few deep breaths, trying to regain stability.

Amaya cried harder as she heard him wretch. 'You've come this far' she told herself. 'If you give up now, you might as well have lost everything.' So she dragged herself to her feet and moved towards him. "Saka…"

"Stay back Amaya!" his eyes were wild.

"Saka please! I can…"

"You can't do ANYTHING! You don't understand! Just GO AWAY!"

"I…" she was so cold and miserable. She wanted to fall to the ground and pass out for a long time. She was shaking, all over, but her hands were taken by particular tremors as she tried to reach out and touch him. "I'm here. We agreed to fight together, remember?"

Still looking to the ground, he reached over and grabbed her wrist, and for a moment she thought she had finally reached him. She smiled faintly as his familiar fingers closed over her arm.

"I told you," he shouted, tightening his grip, "you can't do anything!" and as he said this he threw her aside.

Amaya was stunned. She couldn't cry, though she let a couple of huge, empty sobs shake her chest. She heard the cap of his little bottle click again and she heard him groan in pain. "Saka…" he walked towards her, slowly, not daring to get close enough to let her touch him again.

But Amaya was lost in dizzying memory. Flashes of happy moments, of promises, of kisses in the dark and laugher in the light, of being there for him before, of following him up this mountain in the freezing rain. She wasn't ready to give up. "Saka!" She called out stronger than before as she drew herself to her knees. "You're hurting me!" As she yelled these words, her last hope, she made sure her eyes locked with his. He stopped walking; caught completely by her intensely painful stare. Her eyes looks so…sharp behind the water that welled in them. They said everything she'd been saying for months—everything he'd manage to turn a deaf ear to now flooded his awareness. He could feel her heart being crushed by the weight of sadness and worry she carried. He could feel how much pain stabbed at her ribs as she shook with sobs.

"Amaya…" he said, more to himself than to her, "I never knew how strong you were."

She had fallen back to her hands and knees, her eyes shut again. Saka walked slowly to her and knelt down beside her, this time gently cupping her cheek in his hand. She winced at the feeling, expecting him to hit her or push her again, but he didn't.

"I…I didn't know how much you were hurting," he said very softly, his eyes searching her face for something, but she only cried harder. "I'm sorry Amaya, I'm sorry," he was nearly crying too. "I just don't know if I can stop."

"Please! Please don't do it anymore!" He lifted her chin up and she opened her eyes to look at him. "Please, Saka," she begged in a feeble voice. Her heart felt so fragile, like it was encased in glass and would beat out of control and then shatter at any moment. "Please stop destroying yourself. I love you. I can't take it."

He rubbed her cheek with his thumb, his own eyes reflecting her sadness. They stayed like that for a long time, growing colder as the rain dropped down relentlessly. "I don't know if I can Amaya." He finally said quietly. She let out a little cry and shook more. "But maybe…for you… I can at least try. I can't stand hurting you like this anymore."

She cried harder but, to his surprise, she surged up and put her arms around his neck, still crying.

After the initial moment of surprise, he brought his arms tightly around her chest and held her to him.

'This is a good beginning.'


End file.
